The say that patience is virtue.. well, it’s a virtue that I have yet to learn. I am a very impatient person.. rather, restless person. I like getting things done quickly, my way, and really not leave much for other or time to do their job. It’s partially because I really have trust issues with people keeping their end of the bargain, and the fact that I just simply don’t like waiting. Waiting to me feels like wasting time.
I have always known that about myself, but it really hit me when I moved to LA. LA traffic is a constant mess. It doesn’t matter what time it is, where you are, or where you’re headed, you’re likely to hit traffic. And so you sit there, frustrated, angry, trying to weave in and out of traffic just to shave off minutes out of that time that you’re expected to sit on the freeway. But It doesn’t help. And so, I’ve realized that maybe it’s trying to tell me something.
Well, I have come to a point, a zen moment really, where I have to learn patience. I believe that I am facing a sort of karmic challenge. Let’s put it this way: a teacher gives his young student a task: take this seed and make it grow. Now here’s the deal, the boy has to put the initial effort of planting the seed in the right place and water it continuously, but besides that there’s little the boy can do but wait. Staring at the ground where the seed is planted isn’t going to make it grow faster. Being frustrated, angry, resentful, and what not isn’t going to help it either.
So here’s what I’m trying to learn: how to make the seed grow without obsessing over it. The seed will poke its head out of the ground, shoot out leaves, and eventually flower, all in just the right time. You just have to let the universe work it’s magic.
It’s all easier said than done, but I am really having a tremendous problem with putting this into practice. I don’t know how to turn off my mind when I need to. I usually write about how I’m choosing to deal with things, or how I’ve come to a conclusion, but at this point, I’m lost.
I’m just going to try taking this one day at time. Cause that’s all I can do.