Chicago

[Sunday Night]

I like to write when I have answers, when I know exactly what to say, and how I want to say it. I am certain that it’s a part of my eternal, internal will to present the best version of myself —don’t most of us do that?

And so I refrained from writing because I think my mind can’t focus enough to produce something good, thoughtful, and worthwhile. Ideas come to my head and they never make it to virtual pages through my fingertips, decisively hitting the lit-up keyboard.. It just hasn’t been happening. The ideas turn into fragmented or pointless ramblings that have no business taking up space in cyberland.

I think that it has to do with where I have been standing these days. I feel that for the past few weeks things have been going too rapidly.. December 15, that crucial date is looming over my head and I’m approaching the uncertainty beyond it quickly. And that’s all I can think of.. and I worry to much about it; paralyzed by the thought of it. It’s been a source of stress and anxiety that I can’t shake off.

So I’m glad the following happened: as always, on a whim and in the moment, I was one the phone with her and within a few minutes, I booked my flights to Chicago. And now that I am at Midway, awaiting my plane to go back to school, I cannot be happier with my decision to come and cannot be sadder that it is time to leave. I needed this break, to re-adjusted, reset, and get ready.

[Monday Morning]

I don’t know what happened as I was flying between the two time zones, but some sort of determination, a general outline/timeline, positivity and trust found me.

 

I think I know what I’m doing.

 

Thank you, KD

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