When I was a younger, I used to wake up at 6AM every day. Regardless of the number of hours I slept, the days of the week, or the weather, the clock would hit 6, and I woke from sleep, eyes wide open, middle-eastern sun in my face, skin rested. I was ready for the world to start again. I was done waiting for it. I was restless.
This restlessness is still in me. I still wake up early. I don’t understand nor am I capable of sleeping 12 hours a night. To me, it is a waste of time, the world is here for your taking, the day is yours to sieze. Why one earth would you waste it dead in your bed?
This used to be translated into things I wanted to do and achieve: once the goal was in sight, I was determined to get it. Recently, though, this restlessness and passion for achievement have been replaced with complacency. Every attempt to do well at school (which is then automatically correlated to how well I will do in life, and that is such a ridiculous notion!), has been shot down. They tell you that you’re not good enough, that your attempts are worthless, that hard work doesn’t matter: you’ll always be average or below average. And with that constant feedback, I have lost interest, passion has been replaced with the will to escape this system. Restlessness has been replaced with complacency.
So now I must ask myself: how do I get this restlessness and passion back? How do I keep my motivation going? I want them back. I want them to push me to do better.
No more surrendering with hands up in the air. That’s not me.
Let’s get things done.